Dear BraveHeart

Dear BraveHeart,

I know you will never be able to read this letter,yet I still write. I am not going to shed a tear at your death, for, for me you still live on, not only for me but for the whole civilized community. At a tender age of 23, you had a promising future and a hope of actualizing your dream. But every thing came crashing down for you, for no fault of yours. Some inhuman humans were out for a joyride, forgot you were a human, one of their own species. It didn't strike them that they too were born of a woman like you. The brutality meted out to you can't be imagined even.

I think of the friend who was with you that night. It would have been a great loss to him to lose a gem of a person like you. How much he must be feeling for you now. He tried all he could, but the scoundrels got better of him. How pained he must be?

You truly are a braveheart. The whole nation came out for you. It was not just a 23 year old that was victim, but we all, men and women alike, cutting across all age group and region, identified with you. With every such incident we all are victimized. The society is victimized and we need justice.

I understand the scoundrels need to be punished at the gallows, but I also believe that this is not the solution. The fear of the noose will not make anybody to respect women or the lives of others in general. We need to cultivate that in our lifestyle. Our Education system should lay repeated emphasis on this.
Back in our society, we are merely hypocrites who say that we encourage women. In our families, we still have different timelines for both sexes. Both the sexes enjoy different levels of liberty and decision making. I come across many instances of families who think that women needs to be confined to the kitchen and the bedroom. There are so many unwritten rules that we expect our womenfolk to follow. And where and when do we learn all this? As we grow from our childhood to adulthood, indirectly or directly from the people who are very close to us, our families and friends.

 We need to change this attitude. I agree women participation in various fields has increased a lot in the past two decades, but this is not enough. We need to redefine our thinking of women. Many families would not allow their girls to venture into their dreams with good intentions of their safety, but this is not the right way in ensuring their safety. We need to allow women achieve their dreams and participate more freely in the society. If you minutely analyze, we find women who venture out, in isolation here and there. There are only SOME women who want to prove themselves that they too have freedom to choose, but not ALL women. That difference from SOME to ALL makes a big difference.

Crimes like rape, molestation, eve-teasing, etc are not women issues, or are not men issues as well. They are an issue of the society. The government could amend laws, impose stricter punishments, provide greater vigilance and enhanced security, but there will always remain some areas where these laws, vigilance or security will never reach. What we need to amend is our mindset that shapes our conscience. Once we are able to do it, we have achieved success for we know we can't deceive our conscience under any circumstances.

But why am I telling you this Brave heart. Nothing of the above can do any good to you, or can compensate the irreparable loss you and your friend and your family has suffered. This is for me and all those who are reading this and share in the same sentiments as mine.

As I said Brave Heart, I am not going to shed a tear on your death, but resolve that I will build a community with a conscience that will always respect women like you and all humans in general. Where you have moved is a better place than this world. You have shown great courage and strength that has galvanized this nation. All I pray is that, this awakening meet what it rose for. Keep smiling brave heart from up above, I promise I would keep my resolve.

Your's Truly,

A Responsible Human.

Are we really celebrating our Independence? Can anyone tell?

We Indians have a proud feeling of our country. We are proud of its rich cultural heritage and its diversity. We take pride in its glorious history, the freedom struggle. And come independence day we all recall this. Introspecting on how we celebrate our independence day, I found that there is a lacuna in the way we celebrate this historic day. We limit ourselves to flag-hoisting, patriotic singing, slogan-shouting or may be sporting flag-badge on our clothing. Isn't it what we do?

I took some time to observe the hustle and the bustle on the street. What I noticed was a overflowing garbage bin, and not to forget the awful stink, a man spitting on the road side, pot-holes and the water stagnating in them, mud that had turned murkier with the rains, and me who just threw the bus ticket after alighting the bus (By the time I realized it, the ticket was flown by the Mumbai wind). To put it in just few words the Indian Civic sense, sanitation, hygiene and social responsibility.

We all know that what is right and what is wrong, yet we don't follow the right. We don't mind hanging at the door of the bus or the local, however dangerous it may be, until and unless I reach my destination on time. I don't care of the security threat that it posses to my life. I don't mind having tea or snacks at the roadside, no matter how many times the glass is washed in the same water in that day. That is what we call Indian Hygiene.

Let me now show the other side of the same coin. We speak of  dwindling rupee, have you any time understood how we are contributing to the phenomenon? The same Indian we saw in the last para, doesn't hesitate to spend lavishly at the McDonalds or Pizza Hut. Or doesn't mind shopping in the malls showcasing International merchandise. Did you realize that profits made by these establishments affect the rupee growth? And with the amount of these establishment mushrooming in the Indian cities, the rupee is bound to be crippled.

Somewhere we need to draw the line. I dream of an India with clean roads, less crowded city transport, Indian establishments serving hygienic and economical food and the other merchandise. I want an India which would be a developed nation with a strong economy, and where people love to live in full independence. An India that stops cribbing about caste, religion, corruption and tackles all such social evils with appropriate actions. An India where I could walk on the streets and admire the infrastructure which I imagine to be existing only in the west. When would this happen. can anyone tell?

Workforce crunch in Goa: Where are the Goans?

Bus was full beyond its capacity, but thankfully I had got a seat. I was travelling from Ponda to Panjim after celebrating Easter. I was to catch a bus to Pune. Being seated just next to the door I could catch a glimpse of all the people alighting and boarding the bus. And thus I started to think.....

It may not be new to the Goans now, that when they use the public transport, their fellow passengers are not all Goans. In fact the non-Goans outnumber them. The industrial estates are giving them ample opportunities to come and work there. Mostly they are employed for the odd jobs, I am informed. And then I start wondering where did the Goans go. Another question arises in my mind, where do these migrants stay? Looking outside the widow I could see Houses of the Goans being turned into small rooms and rented for these migrants. They are to be seen almost everywhere. There were too many questions in my mind now.

How did these migrants come here first of all? Today they own shops in prominent places in the market. Go to the fish-market they are even there. Want a hair-cut, no chance you can get a Goan barber. Want to cultivate your land? All your hiring hands will be migrants. Want a maid to help in household chores? No way you will get a Goan? I was searching for a mason for some small construction at my home and I had to turn to migrant.  Where did all the Goans go?

No matter, many of our Goan bretheren do the same or similar odd jobs abroad or on the cruise liners, and they fetch a huge sum. No wonder why everyone wants to go abroad. Some even pray in churches or temples that their sons or daughters get a job on the cruise liners or abroad. Sounds lucrative right? Whatever it is it doesn't matter even if it means to be janitor or in the laundry? And let me remind you, it is not that Goans lack academic prowess or degrees. Many are even first class academic record holders. But its the money that speaks.

But there are exceptions in that lot too. You can count me in. There are professional graduates that pass out from Goan colleges and then are on a lookout for a job. To tell you a sorry tale, we have to give up our search in Goa and take the road that leads to Mumbai, Pune or Bangalore. The reason? The government is not keen to provide us the necessary infrastructure back home. Thus not inspiring young children to take up professional studies and all the academic brilliance goes down the drain. Many oppose the IT hub saying that it will bring a lot people to Goa, who in fact would be higher earning class, and which could easily dominate Goa. But no one is attentive to the influx of migrants that is already in Goa. To tell you the truth you can count the migrants in the Vote banks of the politicians. The higher earning class that you are afraid of would be easier to keep a tab on, and thus cannot be counted in the Vote banks. So you now know who the culprits are. Hope things will change soon.

So here we are. The outflux is very high among Goans. May it be of the professional class, or the non-professional ones. So it is fit to say all the Goans today are away from their motherland. And the influx of migrants, I need not say anything on that. So we are left with Goa with no Goans. Those who dare to remain back keep crying over what is happening to Goa. All I could pray to the government and all the people of Goa is to create good opportunities in Goa, so that we may not have to leave our motherland for work opportunities. The government needs to keep a tab on the influx of migrants in our state. Also create a database of professionals (IT, medicine, other fields of engineering, etc) from the state of Goa working elsewhere in India.

All I am wishing here for Goa is to retain its identity. Viva Goa.

Life and the gap between its theoretical understanding and its practical acceptance.

Last Sunday I got an opportunity to read in the Church. One of the prayers of faithful was for equality on all fronts and the differences of caste, creed, ethnicity, or class give way to human values and love. This started revolving in my head for quite a sometime now. If I look around and analyze, we all know that this is right and should be followed by everyone. But is it in reality?

Many of you will also agree that that equality should be practiced, but are not actually practicing it. Many of you will agree to me that it looks good in theory, but not practically. I don't know why are saying this. It things are not practically possible then why do we agree with its theoretical  feasibility at the first place. You just did that. I have not seen other cultures other than that of India, but as I gather from friends/read, I understand this gap doesn't exist in there. Are we Indians missing something?

We all know corruption is bad and should not be encouraged, and we also know application filed through an agent gets processed not only faster and is hassle free. But that's not limited till this. I agree, we can't do much of this system, until an unless we overhaul the whole system. But we can do something of what is under our control.

These days, many of my friends are discussing marriage and is a hot topic in my conversations with them most of the time. And may be when to my library in search of a novel that I am looking for for a long time but still don't get it, I pick up another book called "Love will follow.... Why the Indian Marriage is burning" by Shaifali Sandhya. I would recommend this book to all those who are contemplating marrying in the near future. It is an psychological study of the author who herself is a clinical psychologist.

Her analysis of Indian marriage is so very true in many aspects. In India, youngsters are well aware of what is going to follow and they would get into contract love affairs that will end with time or impose on themselves a self-curfew, and later only to get married as per the customs and traditions. The book covers lot many aspects of marriage and expectations they come with. Alarmingly, 1/3rd of the marriages seem to be working. The rest are still holding on for one reason or the other, or those who dared the society's taboo over divorce, separate. With the Independence level of females increasing and participation of women in major decision making, the age-old practice of match-making and marriage is falling apart. The difference between today and 25 yrs back is dangerously wide and we need to accept that.

But still many of us will continue to embrace (or I would say experiment with) marriage with a partner of our caste, creed, ethnicity or class, with the hope that Love will follow. But what if it doesn't follow? Remember Love never follows the yardsticks you used in selecting your marriage partner.  If you are unhappy with your job, you have the liberty to look outside for opportunities.You can't do that in marriage. But still...............

Few days back, I heard a friend saying 'Jis gali jaana hi nahi, us gali ka patha kyun puchna?' (Why do you ask the address of the lane, you don't wish to go?), But I would ask, what if you reached that lane already?  In today's world, it is difficult to keep away from that lane and many of you must have walked by that lane. Some subtly, some seriously. So what now? We still feel that it is wrong and we try putting a full stop. We design our own breakup, some one-sided or some mutual, some harsh or some mild. But they are all painful, however they are.

 Another friend of mine said "Sacrifice is greater than Love", but is that sacrifice really called for. As far as I understand is that love never hurts, its the absence of it that hurts. After all it is your life that you are going to sacrifice. It is your happiness you are going to compromise.

I again say, our behaviour towards equality issues is not limited to this only. Its everywhere.

You might loudly disagree with everything I wrote here, but deep down there would be having that  feeling within you that agrees to me. These are my thoughts and how I look at life. I just want to share them to my readers, however small my reader-base is.

The Story..... and the Author......

Every person in this world has a story. We often call it life. But it is a beautiful story that could make people laugh as well make them cry. But who exactly is the author of this story: of our own story? This was a question that was going on in my mind for a quite a sometime now.

As I dwelt more on this, I found myself in a more deeper thought. The spiritual side of me, told me it is God, who holds the pen to write our story. Sometimes I felt it is me alone. At other times I felt it was others who script my story. The realist in me says it is me alone who can write my story, but there are some pages that are written by others, but when I allow them to do so.

At the bottom line of my thought process I concluded what the realist in me told me. Indeed it is me who write my story and at times there are other people like our parents, friends (some close, some good, some bad), some unknown  who write some pages, but only when I allow them. But it is there for sure they can't end my story without my permission. And if that is the case, the right to destroy my story or make my story lies with me.

Coming back to my spiritual self who told me that is God who holds the pen; was disturbing now. I knew for sure that God has a role in my story, but how?

I then come to a realization that the Supreme Being (as I call God) will guide us, but to honor his guidance is up to me. Seldom we follow his guidance, and when everything goes bad, we don't hesitate to blame Him, forgetting that the author of our story was me. The Supreme Being was only an inspiration, a Guide whom we can choose to ignore or abide by.

Ultimately, the author of my story is me. And we all have a author of a beautiful story called life within us. At times when times are rough, we can make a thriller of our story. We can slow down or rush as we choose. It is me who decides it. Whether it should be a tragedy or a happy ending is again in our hands.

The only thing that bugs me is that we don't know when our story will end, or how many more pages I could write. There are many people whose story remains incomplete and they run out of pages. Tragedies are bound to happen when they are to happen. But till that point in time, I can make sure the story I have written so far, should be a good one, a memorable one.

On this note, I will end the post and continue writing my story. Wishing you all a happy WRITING.

India: The Pseudo and the real.

I wanted to read something different this time and I picked a copy of a compilation of 12 short stories by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni called 'Arranged Marriage'. As I read each story, I found one thing very common in all of them. an emptiness, an lacuna, a compromise, and most often it is on the part of the woman. It is the woman who has to forego everything about herself and is expected to subject herself to her in-laws and her husband. There is nothing left of her own. She lives a life she is expected to live rather than what she ought to live. All her expectations end there and are replaced by the expectations of the others. There by cutting the country's workforce by almost 60%. What is the use of all the studies in high end technology and management  one does, if it is confined to the walls of the kitchen and the bedroom.

I am not writing here to endorse that arranged marriage would be worst option for your life, but it is also not the best option. In India, if a love marriage fails, it is because it was a love marriage and if an arranged marriage fails, we say it happens sometimes. In love marriage the person lives/gets an opportunity to live his/herself individuality, and the partner has to accept how his/her partner is. In arranged marriage, each partner tries to customize oneself and projects good about oneself.  In love marriage, you marry a person because you love him/her. In arranged marriage, you love your partner because you married him/her or were introduced to him/her by your parents/relatives for marriage. There is actually no difference in Job profile and the profile one prepares to be uploaded  on marriage portals. You can equate the job offers one has to choose from, to the prospective brides or grooms that the marriage site shortlists for you. This is not the point I am touching here. It is much more. Read on.....

I tried to look at this widely used protocol in India from a wider perspective. Unfortunately in our country, the individual is not considered important, but what the people think that the individual is, is important. In the long run, we all start putting up a pseudo-image about ourselves in front of others. This is true not only when it comes to marriage, but almost everywhere, in every field. See around you today, there are so many engineers today, not because they want to be engineers, but because others expected them to be engineers or someone said that IT has good scope to mint money. (As for me it was accidental that I joined IT. It is a big story).

 We have tied ourselves with so many things that are unnecessary and we forget that we need to be humans first, and respect our individuality. We are busy calling ourselves Hindu, Muslim, Christians, etc.  or Brahmins, SC/ST, OBC, or from some other quota, or that I am a Maharashtrian,  Goan, or Bihari etc. At the end, do we achieve anything substantial? Nothing.

Can I be myself and not customize myself for others? Can I allow others to respect their individuality? Can I allow others to be themselves? If each one of us make that positive step forward, I guarantee, there will be many ideas that we Indians, who are royally known around the globe for our brilliance and intellligence that will make India, a nation of respected Individuals who are for progress.